"Lady Lumps"?!?!?!?

The Black-Eyed Peas have lowered the tastefulness bar on pop music even further (and we thought that their low point was Fergie peeing herself onstage!). I may be a bit late on this, but I never listen to the radio. I was in Chicago a few weekends ago, however, and my sister and brother brought this song to my attention (you can find the lyrics to this masterpiece here). We had a good laugh over the question "Whatchu gonna do with all that junk, all that junk inside your trunk?" I see three options here: 1) nothing 2) shake it in some manner, and 3) liposuction. I don't see Fergie going with 1 or 3.

Anyway, I had no idea it was the Black-Eyed Peas until I drunkenly turned on VH1 this morning. Anyone who knows me can tell you that my moral standards are significantly lowered when I have been drinking; however, I was horrified. I mean, this song is basically about a woman who whores herself while referring to her body in the most disgusting ways imaginable -- "lovely lady lumps"?? "my humps"? If I ever refer to my body like this, it is time to take me out back and put me out of my misery.

I was vaguely hoping this song was some kind of attempt at satire. However satire would first of all imply that there are women out there more disgusting than Fergie (and Lil' Kim is about the only thing I can come up with there), and also it would mean the Black Eyed Peas are capable of such a thing. I think that they believe they have come up with something innovative here. Remember when Fergie was Stacy on Kids Incorporated? Oh god, Stacy! What would Renee say???

I plan on blogging about my weekend once I have stopped vomiting.

Cringing,
Amanda