Friday, March 09, 2007

The other 3... FINALLY!

We were tagged by Brooklyn Sea Hag:The Rules : Each player of this game starts with the “6 weird things about you." People who get tagged need to write a blog of their own re: 6 weird things, as well as state this rule clearly. In the end, you need to choose 6 people to be tagged and list their names. Don’t forget to leave a comment that says “you are tagged” in their comments and tell them to read your blog.

Sorry it took me SO incredibly long to write my 3 things, I am a busy lady, and I am really quite the procrastinator, so here goes.

1) I have a gap in my teeth, and never got it fixed because of many reasons...
it would require surgery (no thanks!), my Grandma always told me it was good luck, and finally, because I think it's SEXY!!! Haha. The weirdest part is that my boyfriend ALSO has one, which is super hilarious and odd, I think.

2) I have NO SENSE OF SMELL. Like, once in a blue moon I might think that I smell something, usually garlic, and only if I am cutting it myself. I am lucky though, b/c when the gassy boyf lets 'em rip, I am immune to their awful aroma (well, I'm told they are awful).

3) Finally, I am the only naturalized US citizen in my family. My bro is in the process of getting his now, and my parents were in the country for over 20 years before getting theirs. I am the only one who didn't have to go through that process because I was born smack dab in the middle of DIRTY JERZ! Woo!

Alright, Amanda has already tagged who needs to be tagged, and I appologize again for the delay in my list. Enjoy!


Wednesday, March 07, 2007


What could be better than a Saved By the Bell-themed Law and Order: Criminal Intent episode in which Dustin Diamond's character is portrayed as not simply a pathetic opportunistic horndog, but a dead one? And Mark-Paul Gosselaar is into screwing Dustin's Albanian sloppy seconds and pirating unreleased movies? I'll tell you what: Saved by the Bell poetry.

A couple of nights ago, while somewhat insomniac, I was struck with a brilliant lightening bolt of inspiration. I sat up, turned on the light, grabbed a pen and recorded a Saved By the Bell-themed haiku.

The following day, Boulos and I composed a number of Saved by the Bell haikus via email for this tribute to Mario Lopez. The one that came to me as if by magic is last, to properly heighten your anticipation.

Haikus by Boulos:

Oh Tori Spelling
Playing Nerdy Violet
9-0 Will Save You

Beach Club Days go by
Scientologist* Romance
Love lesson for Zach

I’m so Excited
I’m so scared, I’m so scared Zach!
Jessie Spano Rocks

*Leah Remini

Haikus by Amanda:

Money in a bag.
What to do? I want tickets
to sell for profit

Hey, how gay am I?
Good question, AC Slater.
You’re totally queer.

Miss Lisa Turtle:
Stop teasing my prick, you bitch
Let's fuck already

Just take off your pants
Mr. Belding. We're not at
Bayside any more.**

**To be read suggestively but with contempt by Nomi Malone, formerly known as Jessie Spano, in the back lapdance room at the Cheetah Club, a place that almost certainly allows hooking in the Champagne Room.

Love you A.C.!

Ummm... [vomits a little in mouth]... you too, Screech!