Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Livin' on a Prayer

So, we meet again. Unfortunately, in looking through the last five or six posts, you will get a very sad snapshot of the state of the American economy. You see the fear my wife exhibited regarding possible unemployment, followed by the eventual downsizing. Well, since I have not been blogging, you did not hear my same anguish for the past 8 or 9 months, ever since ABC announced they were moving "All My Children" to the west coast, but it happened. Oh, and guess what? After the painstaking angst of helping to move an entire soap opera across the country, and subsequent sad goodbyes to all the crew members I'd grown to know and love, I can now relate to how they were feeling.

Last Thursday, I was called into the VP's office, and albeit a scary situation, wasn't the first time. I mean, last time I was called in, it was to measure for a space so I could order him a new mini-fridge, but I walked in, and was immediately thrust into a scene straight out of "Up In The Air". Seriously, the only thing missing was Clooney. I was there, the HR lady was there, the "package" in the folder was there. So, I mean, although I wasn't surprised in the general sense. Yes, we lost a large show, yes, it has impacted workload (slightly, although I still had more than enough to keep me busy), yes, I was being closely monitored regarding spending company dollars, but still. It's one thing to be theoretically aware of the economy, and the decline of soap operas in general, but it's another be told "your position has been eliminated." I was gobsmacked. I literally felt completely blind sided. They were very nice about it, I just was in SHOCK. I don't remember a time I was literally agape, but there I was, jaw hanging open, and tears stinging my eyes, ugh.

Now, as another victim of the declining TV industry, I have been trying to get myself together. I have to say, that I'm not usually one to toot my own horn, and I certainly wouldn't say I'm a model employee, but the response I've gotten from co-workers, vendors, and even the security guards I've been working with for the past five years has been EXTRAORDINARY. Apparently, if you are looking for the most efficient, nice, and funny chick ever to work with, that chick is me. I have been overwhelmed by the outpouring of support, and the sheer magnitude of the network I've formed in the past five years is really phenomenal. I have makeup vendors, stagehands, makeup artists, and even cleaning supply sales reps trying to hook me up with job leads, and offering recommendation letters.

What's funny is that I always feel pretty consistently amazed by the response people have to my ability to get the job done, wherever I've worked. I have always been able to maintain a gchat conversation, while accomplishing all the work, and then some. Perhaps I just haven't been challenged enough, or something, who knows? So, I feel as though with the last day of my employment being this Good Friday, I will hopefully experience my own resurrection of sorts. I have a lot to look forward to, and now maybe I can figure out what I really want to do! I've got a VERY promising lead on a few weeks of P.A. work on "The Marriage Ref." So, I guess I'm going to be thrown into a world of celebrities and production mayhem! So, let's hope that Jerry Seinfeld (the creator and executive producer of the show) loves me, and wants to hire me forever!

Oh, and you know what else is AMAZING? When I got home, I was thanking Andy for all the work he's done around our apartment, in preparation for my Mom's arrival tonight, he then proceeded to tell me something else. He lost his job too. Now here is the thing, he lost his long standing job of nearly 20 years, nearly a year ago, for a ridiculous reason that I can't get into now. In October he got a great job, and although part time, was paying him really well, and it made him insanely happy. Today, because he was working for a town in NJ, and the budgets all over our state are being cut like crazy, his job was also cut. So, here we are, in Jersey, and co-unemployed. WOW. Not quite sure what we're going to do yet, but I know we're going to be ok. I realized that he and I could TOTALLY be staring in a Bon Jovi song, which awesome enough to keep me going for a while. Although I only have three weeks of work lined up, further down the line, it's alright.

So, for now, we're gonna hold on to what we got, and you know, I'll get back to blogging. Here's to an f-ing brand new life of excellence and opportunity. Cheers!

The Exception Proves the Rule

Hello, I have decided to blog again! My friend Samantha has an amazing blog, Bitches Gotta Eat, which my crap entries won't come near, but which inspires me. And two of my college friends are beginning or re-starting their blogging efforts. Plus I've been writing a lot lately for the Sunday Night Sex Show, but would like to occasionally write about something other than sex. So I'm gonna try blogging yet again.

Currently, I'm nannying. My friends have an adorable almost-19-month-old son and I hang out with him all day. We have a pretty good time, and jobs that involve trips to the park and occasional naps are hard to come by.

One of the best things about being a nanny, though, is that you can constantly indulge your inner moron. You know how sometimes you are walking down the street and you see a cute dog and get really excited and have to stop yourself from idiotically pointing at it and yelling "DOGGIE!" Well guess what? When you have a toddler with you, pointing and saying, "Look at the doggie!" is totally normal behavior, provided you at least appear as though you are saying it to the kid.

In private, it's even better. Kids love ridiculous songs and silly dances, so if you feel like singing "Hey Jude," belt it out. I've sung that one a few times and he usually likes it. And any time the mood strikes -- which it does, because children's programming contains a lot of really cute, catchy little songs -- you can just start flailing around, or "dancing," and you've started a dance party. Amazing.

A fair number of people I know or have known (aka, have dated) hate children, because they're assholes and can't even fathom taking care of a dog, opting for cats instead. I now hate these people. Sure, the kid I watch is a very happy child, luckily. But I spend a fair amount of time at baby music class, baby gym, the playground, etc. And kids are, generally, really pretty likable in addition to being cute. There's the boy who is twice as old as J. (my charge, as Babysitter's Club would have called him) and sweetly offered to share his snack when we met him. There's the incredibly excited little girl in music class who is always asking, with wide eyes, "MAYBE THE DRUM?" There are children all over the playground who, when they don't immediately see their parents, look up at you in a completely trusting way, sure that as an adult you will help them.

The adult world is composed of such a large variety of assholes, and then those assholes have the audacity to "hate kids" based on what? Some screaming fit they witnessed once? Kids' bad behavior is by and large instinctual, when adults fuck with you all the time despite knowing better. Basically, I hate that dude I dated 2 summers ago, who hated children. Ha.

Anyway. Today is the first TRULY beautiful day of spring. It's like 70 degrees, sunny, breezy, all that good shit. And so we took a walk to the park, where everyone and their mother/nanny was gathered to run around without jackets, finally! On my way there, I passed several men -- most of them sexy sweating running men -- and again noticed what I notice every time I have the kid with me: they might smile at him, but they don't give me a glance. It's likely that they think the kid is mine. I mean, there's a hot dad in toddler music class and I don't even know that he's a "hot dad" at all, I just assume so and totally discard the notion that he might be a nanny. Plus J. and I are both white and blue-eyed. And unlike the hot, lithe 24-year-old Polish nannies, I'm 29 and have a body that could certainly be post-baby.

So on the way home from the park, I'm pushing the stroller and considering how the hot guy at CVS gave me a kindly "lovely child, mother lady" smile rather than an "are you wearing panties" smile, and how I'm going to restart writing here and I'm going to make it a post about using a child to deflect unwanted male attention, when some middle-aged guy drives by in an SUV, leans out the window, leers at me and shouts, "HOW ARE YOU DOING?!?"

See the title of this post, please.