Thursday, August 30, 2007

Tatu

Yes, that's right -- Boulos and I are acquiring accents, shaving ten years off our ages and starting a pop group whose mystique will lie in our ambigous sexual relationship, which is to say, the rumors that we "are doing it."

No, actually, WE ARE GETTING ROCK N ROLL UNICORN TATTOOS THIS WEEKEND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! For reals. This has been years in the making, but somehow we just came up with this plan like a day ago. I don't know why we didn't think of it before. It's my birthday weekend (kinda -- that's what you say when your bday is the day AFTER a national holiday). So, so many of our friends are reuniting in NYC this weekend. It is just natural that we do it now.

I understand that many people probably do not know what a Rock n Roll Unicorn is. The fact is, you can't really know a Rock n Roll Unicorn. It is, by nature, enigmatic and difficult to describe. It's like obscenity, really. You know it when you see it -- don't ask me to describe it.

Luckily for you, we will take pictures of our brand new tattoos and post them here!

Friday, August 24, 2007

mmm, bac-os...

Radar has a very funny list of reasons you're still single, which Alice forwarded to Boulos, who forwarded it to me.

Things that pertain to me:

6. Have written poetry inside a Starbucks

10. Are Courtney Love
(replace “are” with “aspire to be”)

19. Scream out Wheel of Fortune answers
(but more often, it’s Jeopardy)

31. Call October "Rocktober"
(actually, it was Cocktober. Which is better)

51. Call underwear "panties" (to horrify people, because in my experience roughly 50% of the female populace cringes upon hearing that word)

75. Have a bedside stack of Sudoku books
(and crossword puzzles)

98. Posted a Craigslist "Missed Connections" ad to find the kid who groped you on the subway
(j/k. But I did once give my real number to a guy who hit on me in a really inappropriately close manner in the subway. I have no idea why I did that, it was like a momentary lapse of logic.)


I would argue the the following best describe middle-aged, "married-but-looking" type men I've met, rather than the single set.


7. Wink in a rakish manner each time you tell a joke

28. Refer to your PDA as a "Crackberry"

37. Prefer the "fist bump" when meeting strangers and always insist they "lock it in"

38. Refuse to remove your Bluetooth earpiece during sex

46. Feel most comfortable in Tevas and jorts

58. Have taken more than one cell phone picture of your genitals

73. Will do anything for "shits and giggles"

83. Refer to yourself as a "vagitarian"



These qualities intrigue me. I'd like to develop them.


8. Have a ferret on your shoulder

63. Have a Tasmanian Devil "tramp stamp"

76. Can only make love to the Mighty Mighty Bosstones

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Gchats

A discussion concerning the aging process.

(be forewarned: we are annoying)


Amanda: I WILL BE 27 IN LESS THAN A MONTH
Mothers, hide your sons, bc I will probably have a slightly-older-than-quarter-life crisis
aka the "I don't get hit on at bars very much anymore because I'm clearly not 22" blues

Boulos: oh GOD
STOP
Shane will be 29, which means I too am getting that much closer to 30
Kill me please

Amanda: ok that is a weak link.
He is your OLDER brother

Boulos: haha
A weak link
Ok, my wife is 27, which means I WILL BE TOO

Amanda: let's concentrate on being 27, which is still scary bc it is def late 20s

Boulos: or almost
That is
Ok
You are right
Just think of how much hotter you are getting right now!
You are nearing 10% [ed. note: refers to weight watchers goals], feeling better about yourself- these are good things:)
We are like wine, and will only get better w/ age!
Right?

Amanda: true. I can't wait to be a hot old lady. People will think I'm a MILF soon

Boulos: COME ON
STOP

Amanda: j/k, I just like joking about being old

Boulos: that is a lie, and you know it
You’ll be a WILF
You always have been to me though!

Amanda: haha you too

Boulos: hahaha
Dude, I have got to go!
Talk to your ass tomorrow!

Amanda: ok, good I can get to work! And you can get to work on discovering the key to halting the aging process!
GET TO IT!

Boulos: OK!
I will let you know
What if it's a daily cum shot to the face?
Will you be ok with that?
ROFLMAO!

Amanda: sure!

Boulos: I can't believe I just came up with that one

Amanda: does lady cum count?

Boulos: SURE!
WILF!

Amanda: omg I JUST SAID LADY CUM
hahahahahahaha
Yes I was thinking you could help me out then
omg I am too foul to grow up

Boulos: You'll get some SERIOUS anti-aging treatment soon from ME
Oh man, I gotta GOOOOOOOoo
Get to work
LATER!

Amanda: byeeeeeeeeee






Tuesday, August 07, 2007

Lollapalooza


I'm sure you're all on the edge of your seats awaiting my review of Saturday 8/4 at Lollapalooza. Well, I don't like to disappoint. So here you go.

I am lazy, I sleep late, and I don't do well spending all day in crowds, so I didn't show up til 3:30 and only saw 5 bands. But it was totally worth the $80, and I'm gonna tell you about it.

Cold War Kids
Originally we'd planned to get there at about 2:30 to catch either Silverchair or Stephen Marley, though I have no idea what either is doing these days. That didn't really work out and so we got there just in time for Cold War Kids.

They sounded really good, but they were on a little side stage and this created the only "dear lord, get these people away from me!" conditions we experienced all day. A tiny bit of that reaction may have been due to my sober state, which I did not maintain after CWK, thank god. But it was packed and we were quite far from the stage. Plus we were facing west and people crossing the park were walking north/south, and thus right into us. This blew.

The lead singer had a lot of enthusiasm and I'm quite excited about seeing them open for the White Stripes in October. But we were just too far, it was too crowded, and I was too hot to really get into this.

Clap Your Hands Say Yeah

I basically just wanted to hear them live and had no desire to get near the stage. So we laid down an little blanket and sat on the grass, which was lovely after standing in the throng watching Cold War Kids. It also started to cool off and get breezy, which was nice. CYHSY sounded pretty good; I'm not a huge fan but I like what I've heard of their newer album. A lot of rather hot and slutty girls around us were dancing happily. I bet these dudes get laid a lot, by better-looking chicks than you'd suspect.

Regina Spektor

We left CYHSY early to catch Regina Spektor. We should have left my house the night before for a chance to get near the stage, because she was a helluva lot more popular than I expected. We were planning to head back across the park towards the end of her set, so we took a spot on the far left side of the stage. Unfortunately some very loud, very bad metal was being played not very far away on the left, so at first she was very difficult to hear (plus it was just her and a piano or occasionally just her and a guitar -- none of the bells and whistles heard on her albums). She was incredibly cute and endearing. She seems like one of those people you want to hate because they seem naively nice, but you have to love them for it. At one point when the bad metal was still going on, I thought she was singing about those dudes fucking up her songs. I've since discovered she has a song about neighbors fucking to her songs. I still think she might have changed the lyrics to fit the situation.

I was really impressed by her ability to keep people completely enchanted with her music despite the bare-bones set up. She doesn't have the raw punk spirit of Patti Smith or the haughty cheekiness of Tori Amos, but she killed us with kindness, and it was fun.

This, incidentally, was around the time I got drunk. Three cheers for my High School antics; were were allowed to bring 2 bottles of water into the park so I brought one of water, and one of heavily spiked vitamin water. Since I still bought about $40 worth of beer, I don't feel too badly about this.

Yeah Yeah Yeahs

I had never seen the YYYs live before, and it was awesome. Karen O is my hero and everything I aspire to be. Bitch is crazy, in the best possible sense. She had all kinds of weird accessories including something that looked like a small tent my sister had when we were little, but in black and white. She sounded damn good, though. Their new single "Down Boy" is the sexiest song this year. Download it illegally, I promise you won't regret it (J/k, I buy almost all of my music. seriously. I'm not a good for nothing, entitled piece of scum like you). They sang a bunch of stuff from Show Your Bones, too, and a few from Fever to Tell, including "Y Control" which is one of my favorite songs ever. I was very happy about that.

During their set, I left to go to the bathroom because at this point I was drinking beer and peeing frequently, like I do. We weren't very close to the stage, but a lot closer than we had been to Ms. Spektor. I absolutely forgot to take a look at where, exactly, we were standing, though. Like a total moron, I had left my bag and my phone with my friends. I spent the majority of "Maps" wandering around looking for our spot, which is kind of funny.

Spoon

We caught a couple of songs from Spoon when we were walking over to the other stage to see Interpol. I like all of the songs I've heard by Spoon, but these first 2 or 3 sounded like really, really bad classic rock. Like the Doobie Brothers -- the Michael McDonald incarnation of the Doobie Brothers. Maybe it just wasn't an appropriate buffer between YYYs and Interpol, and my head was in the wrong place. Then it started to rain and we left for beer and food.

Interpol

Oh, lovely boys who make lovely music. Interpol and the YYYs were my reasons for attending Lollapalooza. We got there about 20 minutes before the set, but didn't even try to get very close because a) there were porta potties just down a lane from where we stood, which was important for both my bladder and my bad sense of direction and b) we were never going to get incredibly close, so I decided to deal. I was pretty much drunk at this point, and then friends of my friend gave me a few shots of vodka.

I am not a dancer at shows. I'm more a watcher and listener. But I was drunk, I love Interpol, and they sounded great. So I was dancing. Not like a damn fool, but dancing. The people around us were a mix of Interpol fans, people they'd dragged along, some curious sorts, and old men smoking pot who had clearly come straight over from Patti Smith, who had played at a nearby stage. This one dude who was dancing around like a fool gave me a high five when he saw that I knew the words. It was pretty awesome. More people are into this band than I thought. Fun times.

Then we went to a bar in Wicker Park, where we always seem to end up when the night is heading toward blacked-out drunken embarrasment. We must have had a premonition of where we were headed, because we were there pretty early, by about 11:3o, and drunk off our asses and acting like fools by about 1. It was a fun night.


Pitchfork's review of Saturday is actually pretty good and not too douchey, a real first for them.

Friday, August 03, 2007

Guess where I'm going tomorrow?


Create Your Own PaloozaHead - Visit Lollapalooza.com



And yeah, I finished the HP (not in 24 hours though, I had things like karaoke and a fear of The End to deal with). I've just been in a severe Harry Potter-less depression for about a week. But I've risen from that like a motherfuckin' phoenix. Fawkes the phoenix, that is.