One of the many reasons I am an entirely ineffectual person

I always have insane dreams. My sister won’t even listen to them anymore because they are so ridiculous. Every time I tell her one now (after only like four months of living together), she shakes her head and says, “I don’t wanna hear your crazy dreams anymore!”

Usually I’m knocked up, or once a few weeks ago, I had to kill snakes in order to determine what my dead grandmother had left us as our inheritances, and often people are needlessly slaughtered. The dreams are usually quite unnecessarily graphic.

A few nights ago, I dreamt about whistling. I was leading this group of people around a house, and I was whistling a song perfectly. I even tried whistling when I woke up, because I was sure I could do it.

I can’t whistle at all, much less whistle an entire song in tune. Assuming that, in my dream world, I can acquire any ability I really, really want– um, whistling? Way to dream big.