Tuesday, August 08, 2006

Bon Jovi Said I Could...

So I have returned from a sun-filled, record breakingly hot, week at the Jersey Shore. Through the drunken haze of the week, these are the highlights, in semi-chronological order. Please enjoy:)

-Shaving my boyfriend's back in the backyard of the house we rented. There's nothing like giant tufts of hair blowing in the sea air to say "Yes, vacation has started." Immediately after I finished his back, Andy grabbed the clippers, and decided he has the desire to look like a 13 year old boy, resulting in him shaving his entire chest as well (with a beer in hand, oh what a sight!).

-Learning how to crab. Did you know, all you need is some raw chicken, and BAM! You can catch a million delicious crabs for dinner? Of course you need to have someone around who is willing to rip their claws off while they are still alive, otherwise OW! I'm sure they didn't like it, but damn, they were good.

-We took a trip out to the historical Barnegat Light House:

Aren't we cute?

The craziest thing about that place was that the ONLY 2 places out by the lighthouse are Andy's Bait Shop, and Kelly's Restaurant. Isn't that crazy? Of course I forgot my camera, but I SWEAR I'm NOT MAKING IT UP!!!!

-We were attacked by flies at Island Beach State Park. Since we stayed on the bay, and the water there was piss warm, we thought we'd take a lil ride out to the ocean, where we could chill on a bigger beach, and enjoy the cool water. Um, yeah... apparently someone poured invisible syrup all over the damn place, and us, b/c we were ATTACKED BY FLIES!!! To the point where we tried getting out of the water for 2 minutes, and were immediately bitten up by the vicious bastards.

-Drunken Cranium- this happened during the week several times, many matches, and despite discovering that Andy is a complete board game Nazi, it was good times, and my team won nearly every time.

-Andy's shower fall. After one particularly drunken night, Andy got in the shower at 4:30am and while in there, the rod and curtain fell down. He apparently thought that someone was trying to break into the bathroom to take his picture, and so he fell out of the tub. He's fine, but he is crazy.

-Hanging out with our middle-aged, divocrced, drunken Irish neighbor and her crazy local co-horts. They drank almost more than we did! Everyone down there was so nice, they just invited us to hang w/them. Good times.

-Texting the wife about a movie I was watching, the great "Life with Mikey", and accidentally typing... "I'M WATCHING LIFE WITH MONKEY!!!!!!!!" (Plans are already in effect to film this soon to be epic"

-On our last day, during a drunken swim, I was kind of hanging onto Andy's back, b/c we were so far past the pier, and I suddenly felt a sharp, stinging pain in my arm. After ruling out an alcohol induced heart attack, we both realized we'd been stung by a jellyfish! It got Andy's shoulder and back, and my arm in two places. Luckily, no one had to pee on anyone, as sand and vinegar seemed to take the sting away. Although Alice said she would've peed on me if she had to, now that's a friend!

So that's the vacay wrap up... enjoy, and watch out for those Jelly Bastards!


Amanda & Boulos said...

Does it count if I would offer to go behind a dune, and pee into a cup or something, and then pour it on you? I mean, must you see the lodge?

Amanda & Boulos said...

I must see it, plus... you considered peeing in my bed years ago, this should be a much quicker decision!

Amanda & Boulos said...

It would really make more sense to pee in a cup first, then we could control the stream when I poured it on you, which would be more effective. I'm not a man, you know.
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