JIZUM UPDATE

Here are a few details my sister left our during the gchat:

• The boy in question looked about 12 and was wearing a batman costume. I will need to speak with my mother about the extent to which this was a full-on costume; all I can verify is that it definitely involved some kind of headgear resembling the ears of the batman mask.
• The girl was Asian (I do not know why this is relevant) and looked significantly older than the boy.

It just gets better and better, huh?

Gchats about my mom

Here is an interesting gchat between my sister and myself. It is in regards to a phone call my sister received from my mom at work. Note: my mother is inappropriate and works at Starbucks.


Sis: mom also told me about two young kids at her starbucks...
blah, blah, blah...
but basically, she went to use the bathroom and they were both in there
so when they came out she went in and then tells me
"Oh gosh and can you believe it!?! There was gizum on the floor!"
and I said, what?
and she goes, "gizum, you know like cum"

Amanda: WHAT????????
wtf
I thought she was saying gum
JIZ?

Sis: oh yeah

Amanda: is that what she was trying to say?

Sis: yeah, yeah but she calls it jizum

Amanda: omg you HAVE TO TELL THIS TO ME IN PERSON TONIGHT
bc I need you to imitate mom
hahahaha

Sis: is that an actual word?

Amanda: I think it is
but not one to be used

Sis: I am crying at my desk right now just thinking of it

Amanda: I mean, plus... she's MOM, could she just say semen please?
is that too much to ask?
If I have kids I am not going to dirty-talk them

Sis: ill, sick and she wiped it up
!

Amanda: especially when they are at work!
EWWWWWWWWWWWWWW
omg I’m laughing
and crying

Sis: she was like. "I knew it was jizum because I could tell by the consistency"
how sick!!

Amanda: oh I may have to send this entire convo to boulos
OMG MOM STOP IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sis: please do

Amanda: jizum, haha

Sis: and then when I was like, "oh sick. oh my God" more so referring to mom's story... her response? "I know, can you believe it?! In my Starbucks? I mean someone was getting a hand job or a blow job. In my Starbucks. I don't know if she just spit it on the floor..."
I suppose she was referring to the lump of "jizum" she wiped up

Amanda: ew
haha
omg mom