Reunited and It Feels So Good...

I’m just back from a crazy weekend in New Jersey/New York. Highlights of which included:

Me losing my wallet for roughly the 7,000th time, on Thursday night. I need to get a fanny pack or something, for real. Desperate times call for desperate measures, and all. BUT: in a new twist on this old story, I GOT IT BACK. Amazingness! After spending 20 minutes on the phone with 311 (my phone died in the middle of the first call) and determining that, no, I would probably never see my lovely red leather, quite expensive, containing the license I needed for the plane ride home wallet, I was awoken by Boulos at 3 a.m. She was there to double check and make sure I was alive, since my mother was on the line and seemed quite convinced I was dead in a gutter. A wonderful New York City policeman had called her. Someone had found my wallet! All they took was the $20 in it! They found it in the street! So my mom thought I was dead!

He had also called my phone, which of course did not wake me. So I called him back and he explained that he was not going to process it because I’d need i.d. to claim it, even though obviously my license was in the damn wallet. Also, his name was Officer Joranda. Boulos and I quickly began planning a wedding that would allow me to take the name Amanda Joranda. We had a wedding to attend in Jersey on Friday, so on Saturday we finally made it to the midtown south precinct, where I collected my wallet. Alas, though I am forever grateful to him for holding my wallet for me and being so very kind, there were no sparks. I’m currently at work on a new “marry into an awesome name” plan.

The wedding (Susie’ and Ken’s) was very, very fun. Also, very Susie and Ken. When introduced as husband and wife at the reception, they walked out to “This is Why I’m Hot.” And that is why we love them. They also offered a pretty intense and hilarious performance of “Paradise by the Dashboard Light.” The guests were rather amazing themselves. There was a lot of middle-aged dancing at about 7:30. Dinner had not yet been served, the sun was still out, and 50 people were running around in a conga line. Men were tying napkins to their heads by 8:30. We were pretty impressed. After the wedding, Boulos, Archana and I engaged in a ridiculous drunken photo session in the backseat while Andy drove us to their local bar, which we closed down. We were pretty inebriated. Good times.

Then, on Saturday, we went to Winnie’s, our favorite karaoke bar. Which leads me to our Blind Item: which lead star of a defunct HBO Jersey-set mob show walked into this tiny Chinatown dive bar with an entourage of about 8 middle-aged men? A friend of ours chatted him up for a long time, which was totally surreal and very intriguing. Alas, he left alone (well, with a bunch of dudes). We then found out that he had been in Chinatown for a reason: he wanted to bang an Asian chick. He’s original, that T… dude who shall not be named. Also, he made inappropriate comments about my friend’s sexual orientation and her ass. I can’t believe I was surprised he’s something of a perv, but I was. I am endlessly naïve, I suppose.

We did not arrive home until at least 6, as we were at Winnie’s til 4 and then headed over to the legendary Wo Hop for some Chinese food. Boulos’s brother kindly drove us home. Sunday, we basically woke up and left for the airport.

Oh and of course there were the constant USFBs. Good times!

This Must Be Posted

Our friend Lisa originally sent this to us when she was looking for a wedding gift for her husband. I have been able to find it twice since, but this always takes a good half hour of googling and searching my email.

Today, we were exchanging fun wedding links (Alice will be married in July!), when I remembered this.

First, a link to the suggested gift. It should be noted that I am a woman, but if a man ever bought me a crappy watercolor for any occasion, much less our wedding, I would shoot him in the face. And if I told my story and brought the painting to the court room, I am certain I would be vindicated (provided the jury was composed of peers with good taste).

Here is the best part, the page on which it is suggested that one might buy this for her groom. The responses to this are hilarious. Unfortunately, over a year ago this page started getting spammed regularly so it might take a minute to load.

Just thought I would share, but mostly I just wanted to create a permanent link for purely selfish reasons.